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Tuesday
Mar152011

5 Signs You're TOO Clingy

written by @DjCocoaChanelle

We all know that most men feel there's nothing worse than a clingy woman... well guess what? Us ladies don't like clingy men either... in fact i don't think anyone likes a clinger, its a huge turn off.

Most people assume clinginess is a female trait but "Let's be clear" it is NOT only females who possess this trait, i have experienced for myself and even seen friends who are males possess the clingy trait.

No one may ever admit it, but at some point, most of us have had our own clingy moments, especially when you first fall in love. It's easy for you to spot when someone else is being clingy, but can you recognize when "YOU" yourself are a clinger? Probably not... I'm here to help :)

I have 5 warning signs that will help you recognize if you are too clingy.

SIGN 1: You Don't Give Space
If you really like or love someone it's normal to want to be with them as much as you possibly can, but it's really important to allow him or her to have some space. If your new boyfriend or girlfriend wants go hang out, let them go. Don't start nagging and asking a thousand questions like a detective, and don't call or text them throughout the night to see what they're doing. Give them that time to miss you. If you treat your partner like a prisoner, there's a good chance they will get tired of you and want even more time away from you.
SIGN 2: You're constantly worried they will leave or cheat on you.
Being insecure is never cute. It doesn't take long for a person to get turned off by someone who is overly insecure. I think the insecure feeling has happened to most of us atleast once; however... If you are "constantly" worried that your man or girlfriend will find someone else and so you attempt to spend every waking moment with them in person or you hold them hostage on the phone purely out of fear they may find someone else and leave you... that's a BAD sign and borderline psycho.

Speaking from experience... I once had a man who was a OVERLY insecure STAGE 5 clinger, it drove me crazy and was the death of our relationship. If you're experiencing insecurities, ask yourself why. Does the person you're with actually give you a valid reason to feel this way, or is it all in your head? If they give you reasons to feel that way... maybe that's a sign you shouldn't be with that person any more... if they are not giving you a reason then you have "issues" and need to figure out the real reason why YOU are so insecure and fix the problem before your partner really does leave you for someone else.
SIGN 3: You Don't Have Plans of Your Own
If you NEVER make your own plans just in case he or she wants to do something with you, it's a sign that you're being clingy. When you are in a relationship, It's important to have a life of your own. It can be normal to want to spend every minute with your new love (we all have been guilty of this) but the best tip to having a happy & healthy relationship is... not to. Make time for them but also try to keep your independent life and fit your new love into it. Balance is the key.
SIGN 4: You cut off close friends
At first i thought this was a female trait, but then i started seeing BOTH males and females become guilty of this. When you are in a relationship, its obvious and normal to have to cut back on the time you spend with friends, you have a new person you have to schedule in now... however, if it gets to the point where your close friends barely hear from you any more just because you have a new relationship... thats a GOOD sign that A) you're a bad friend and B) you are being clingy and have no life of your own any more.
I have seen people neglect close friends because they have a new relationship and then when that relationship ends... they come crawling back or suddenly want to hang out and talk on the phone again. If your friends truly love you they may forgive your temporary insanity but if not, they may tell you to "kick rocks". I once read a interesting quote that stayed in my mind... it said "a HEALTHY relationship makes all your other relationships BETTER". In other words, if you get into a new relationship and all your other long time loving friend relationships fall apart... something is wrong.
SIGN 5: You Can't be on Your Own
When everything you do in your life HAS to be done with your partner that's another BIG sign you are being too clingy. If you don't feel like you can go on your own to the mall, gym, shopping or to the bank there's definitely a problem. Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean you should lose your individuality; eventually you will regret not being your own person and your partner may begin to lose respect for who you are.
Ok.. after reading these signs, are YOU are clinger? If so, don't feel bad, at least now you know you're clingy and you can do something about it :) If you are with someone you really care about, get your clinginess under control ASAP before it's too late.




Follow Cocoa Chanelle on twitter: @DjCocoaChanelle

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